Although it’s not always perfect, I am happy with my lot.
Oh of course I would like to be taller, thinner, have more Chanel Shoes, travel to Paris every year – and a whole host of other inconsequential things.
But generally TheBoys & TheHusband and I bumble along in a pleasant existence. Minding our own business. Not particularly concerned about what everyone is up to. Trying not to tread on the boundaries of social niceties.
Therefore I am constantly surprised by other people. Completely and utterly floored by their behaviour. Usually I suspect it stems from dissatisfaction with their lives.
We have had a spectacular series of events in the last week. I posted about some unsportsman like behaviour TheYoungSon experienced here.
Then it was TheEldestSon’s turn. An attack by a fellow mother, clearly on the brink of … well something…++++++++++++++
So on Friday afternoon I had one of those moments.
When it has been a truly crap day and you wonder how the hell you got to be where you are now.
When no matter how many candles you blew out on your last birthday – you still feel about 10 years old.
When you hear yourself communicating with your kids and you turn around to see if your mother is in the room; because it certainly sounds like it.
When you realise you are now old enough to look back at your various past proclamations with barely controlled mirth. The stuff you said when you were about 18 yrs. old and you were all that and then some. When you swore blind there were things you would never say, believe in, become.
And well here you are…
There is a magazine that has a column where celebrities write a letter to their younger self.
I feel like the boys have learnt powerful life lessons this week. I’d love to smooth the way for them, impart my hindsight. But they probably won’t listen, just like I didn’t to my parents.
So here I am. In retrospect…I’m all ears
Set your course early, have an idea of the life you want.
That way if you are blown off the path along the way – financial setbacks, ill health, you can still look to the end game. It won’t have disappeared; the horizon just might seem further away for a while.
If you don’t have that anchor, years will be swallowed up by drifting. And yes time does move faster the older you get.
Passion is wonderful, if you can find it. For some the search may take years - don't panic yours will reveal itself at some point. Meanwhile look for the simple joy in whatever you do.
Trust your gut. About people, situations. Don’t stay somewhere you are unhappy. Rarely – if ever - will things improve.
Money can make you comfortable and afford you choice. It can give you the ability to be generous. Have fun with it, don’t squander it, plan for the future. But don’t worship it. Love it for what you can do with it – not what it can do for you.
If people piss you off once, give them an inch, they might be having a bad day. Offer to help.If they continue to piss you off – do not be afraid to tell them. Don’t ever be a doormat because you feel you do not have a voice. You do – practice roaring sometimes, it feels good. Bullies can come in Sheep’s Clothing.
Be gracious in defeat and humble in victory. But not too humble – a little chest beating doesn’t hurt – lets others know you mean business.
Better to take life by the balls and shake what you can out of it.
Above all, you are just as good as anyone else. Never let anyone’s title or status make you feel inferior. People are people – we all wake up, have a shower, go to the loo, get dressed and start our days…
Manners will take you a long way. In fact the whole way.
Have a bloody good time and smile. You can charm and disarm with a broad, heartfelt smile.
And if people continue to f*** you off. Get them out of your way pronto.
Have a great life.
PS. Most problems in life can be solved over a cup of tea and a piece of Fruit Cake. This supremely easy one from Annabel Langbein is magnificent…
(really moist, slices like a dream and will keep fresh for over a week if kept in an airtight container)
SPICED FRUIT LOAF (low fat/sugar)
SPICED FRUIT LOAF (low fat/sugar)
“Use Organic Ingredients where you are able”50g butter softened
¼ cup glace ginger, roughly chopped
1 ½ cups (tightly packed) chopped, pitted dates (pitted prunes work well too)
1 cup chopped dried apricots (or cranberries, or sultanas)
1 ¼ cups water
1 tbsp. maple syrup
½ cup brown/raw sugar (to taste)
1 tsp. mixed spice
½ tsp. grated/ground nutmeg
1 ½ tsp. ground ginger
½ cup chopped Brazil nuts or walnuts (optional)
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups plain flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
Options: add ¼ cup chopped dark chocolate pieces
Preheat oven to 150C, line and grease a loaf tin.Method:
Place glace ginger and dates in a pot with the water, maple syrup, sugar and butter. Boil for 5 minutes, mash lightly to break up the dates. Remove from heat and leave to cool.
Mix in remaining ingredients. Spoon mixture into tin and bake until a skewer inserted in the centre comes out clean and the top is springy, approx. 45 minutes.
Leave to cool and turn out of tin.
Slack Tart Shortcut. Turn it into desert; served warm with some vanilla bean ice-cream & custard.